Relationships come in varying levels of intimacy and all them are sacred. From your relationship with the person that cuts your hair, to your spouse – relationships can teach you a lot about who you are, the lessons you are here to learn, and how you feel about yourself. They can also reveal where you are in your level of conscious development.
This can be both frustrating and rewarding, as I’m sure you’ve noticed.
Ending relationships is a very touchy subject, especially when it comes to the social and religious ramifications of divorce. We are given plates of gold for “toughing it out.”
Today I am talking about all relationships, not only marriage, and how to determine if you may be in a toxic relationship. While relationships aren’t always smooth sailing, there is one way to know if you’re fighting for love or holding onto a toxic relationship.
How do you know if a relationship is toxic?
Put simply, if you are in a relationship that feels like you are betraying yourself to stay in it – it is toxic.
It can be the nail technician you don’t feel comfortable speaking up to, or the husband you want to leave but talk yourself into staying because of the kids, mortgage or convenience. Self-betrayal is a key ingredient in a toxic relationship.
How do you know if you’re betraying yourself?
If your life path is harming you, you are betraying yourself.
If you are shrinking back to fit in, you are betraying yourself.
If you aren’t being honest about who you are, you are betraying yourself.
If you behave a certain way to be approved of and it doesn’t come naturally, you are betraying yourself.
If you intellectually rationalize why you should stay with someone when you feel you should leave, you are betraying yourself.
Ultimately you know (better than anyone on the entire planet) when you are betraying yourself. It is felt deep within. It is known in your soul, and no matter how many times you intellectualize why you shouldn’t listen to your inner knowing, it always finds a way to come back up and be heard.
This discomfort is what ultimately leads to change.
Sometimes relationships start out as loving and evolve into a toxic connection. This isn’t a punishment, but simply a way of learning. Making the decision to end a toxic relationship does not mean it is gone forever. Relationships are both sacred and eternal. Ending a toxic relationship allows it to become something different. Disconnecting from self-betrayal and aligning with self-love gives the relationship space to evolve in divine order, however that may look.
Our souls are on a path for learning and discovering truth, compassion, love, empowerment and divinity, and relationships provide an intimate source of wisdom and knowledge. It is up to us to what level we allow the relationship to inflict pain and suffering in our lives.
Sometimes all we need to remember is that we don’t have to learn through pain, we can love through love and joy.
Take inventory of your relationships and notice if there are any places in your life where you are betraying yourself to keep a relationship in-tact. It may be time to take the courageous step and align yourself with your truth and allow the relationship to dissolve. Remember, any act of kindness toward yourself is an act of kindness that is felt around the world.
To aide you in your alignment with your truth in relationships, I’ve made a guided meditation.
Know Your Truth in Relationships Guided Meditation:
Meditating, journaling and self-inquiry are all excellent ways of honing in on how you really feel. Acting on how you truly feel is the most courageous way you can show up for your soul. When you heal, you open up a life filled with more love, joy and happiness.
Here’s to honoring your truth today and always.