Toxic relationships get a bad rap. While they aren’t exactly the most pleasant experiences, they do bestow incredible wisdom on us once we decide to leave.
If you’ve found yourself on the other side of a toxic relationship – the side where you said “gotta go” and left it behind you, then you’ve probably experienced the silver linings personally.
The aftermath of a toxic relationship can leave you feeling vulnerable and in a haze. And sometimes this cocktail of feelings can be enough to send you straight back to the unhealthy relationship. (Humans tend to side with what feels comfortable over what is best.)
Before you retrace your steps, or if you’ve broken free, remember you’ve got some wisdom to unpack.
The Silver Linings of a Toxic Relationship
Letting go of a toxic relationship can be really challenging, so maybe this is exactly why you are showered with wisdom afterward. Now that the storm has passed, here is what’s to be gained:
You Have a Clear Sense of What You Want Clarity is power. Coming out of a toxic relationship you now have a very clear list of what you don’t want in a relationship. Use that list to then bring into clarity what you do want. How do you want to be treated? What is non-negotiable for you? Get clear on this and then place your focus there.
You Have a New Awareness of Your Boundaries Boundaries in toxic relationships are crossed regularly. This gives you a ton of experience in knowing what it feels like when those boundaries are crossed. Familiarity with these feelings allows you to detect if / when it happens again. This is invaluable information for you in current and new relationships.
>> Try This Exercise! – – Write your boundaries down (you can also print out my list here). Next to each boundary write down what it feels like when it isn’t acknowledged and respected.
Your Power of Choice is Amplified Perhaps the brightest silver lining in experiencing and leaving a toxic relationship is that you now know you have the power of choice. This is one of the most powerful gifts you have in your life. Your choice is your birthright and to take action on a choice – no matter how difficult – amplifies your connection to your personal self-empowerment.
Stumbling Blocks that Can Keep You From the Silver Linings There are two common boulders that can keep you from turning your pain into wisdom. If you find yourself stuck in the painful aftermath of the toxic relationship check to see if you are standing still in a puddle of resentment and anger.
Self-Forgiveness is Your Best Friend – Don’t Push it Away One of the first stages of toxic relationship recovery is self-forgiveness. Often, those in a toxic relationship resent themselves for getting there in the first place. Don’t allow yourself to stay stuck in resentment. Practice self-forgiveness and acknowledge the wisdom the relationship bestowed upon you. Forgive yourself relentlessly and honor how purposeful the relationship was and all the wisdom you have gained and will always hold. Self-forgiveness unlocks the path to self-love.
Master the Art of Forgiving Others While forgiving yourself is critical, forgiving who you were in the toxic relationship breaks the chains and harmful connection from the relationship. Notice if you are holding onto resentment and practice the art of forgiveness and letting go. This is the quickest way to cut the chords of toxicity and frees up space and energy to create a relationship that is loving and beneficial.
If you are currently in a toxic relationship or in recovery, place your intention on healing and trust the guidance you receive to begin the process. There are countless other silver linings that you can receive when you honor yourself and love yourself enough to leave a toxic relationship. Enjoy the blessings this wisdom will shower on your life.
Here’s to letting go and moving into a greater place of love and to a life full of healthy, loving, wonderful relationships.
Much love to you,
Mark your calendars for our next live session!
Home>>General>> The Surprising Silver Linings of Toxic Relationships (Toxic Relationships Part 2)