Mother’s Day is in a couple of days, and I wanted to remind you of something:
It’s okay if your mother isn’t like the moms on television, or in magazines, or on the big screen, or any other social outlet. And it’s okay if you as a mother aren’t like that either.
Generationally speaking, we have been raised with media. And because your brain works with the data it receives and then compares it – consciously or not – it’s easy to compare yourself, your life, your mothering and your mother, to the lives on the big screen, small screen and even print ads.
Even though we know those lives aren’t real, we can fall under the spell that what we see being portrayed by fictional characters is the ideal way to be.
The truth is, the valuable human life you’ve been so blessed with is complex – a mixture of soul contracts, soul lessons, belief systems and the inner struggle of your ego – all of this playing out for you every single day. No one has a script to read. This is the real life trenches of Earth School.
Yet, despite the complexities of this life, the comparison between the reality of true life and manufactured for entertainment life is still going strong. The mass between our ears can’t seem to help it.
As a little girl I wanted Mary Poppins to show up at my door and give me a spoon full of sugar and dance on the ceiling with me.
And then I watched The Sound of Music and wanted to run through the hills with Julie Andrews wearing the dress she sewed for me out of drapes.
It may be easier to understand that dancing on the ceiling is fantasy, but what about the other fantasies we buy into?
Fantasy or Reality?
Family get-togethers should look like the Pier One ad, no one should disagree (especially family members!), and mom should act and behave a certain way that we approve of (an image of Claire Huxtable just entered my mind.)
And, as mothers we should never snap at our kids and should instead act more like that mom on Nickelodeon.
And it’s these fantasies that bring on so much suffering.
For example, my mother and I have opposing political views and don’t see eye to eye on religion. And for years I thought maybe if I wanted it enough, or shared enough of my research with her that she would change.
What a major ego move!
I was fully envisioning the fantasy where we would have kumbaya moments around the fire sharing stories of spirituality and voting for the best candidates.
It ain’t gonna happen.
Once I accepted this, she was off the hook.
I don’t need her to change to love her. I just won’t talk about politics or share my latest research on the mystics of our time with her. That’s not where our relationship is best served. And it’s 100% okay. Trying to force it made me feel miserable. And I’m sure she was annoyed.
My mom is always there when I call her. She can fill me in on any historical event I want to know about, and she remembers all of the funny stories and memories when my daughters were babies and toddlers. The same memories I was a part of but have forgotten due to sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. Thank goodness she can remind me.
Let’s treat this mother’s day a bit different.
Take a look at the expectations you place on yourself and your mother, step-mother, aunt, grandmother – any woman you share your life with and are close to (or want to be) – and see where your expectations often lead to disappointment.
This may be where you’ve tuned more into fantasy than reality, where you’ve gotten more concerned with how things should be instead of accepting how things are.
There is great freedom in acceptance, and when you feel free, you feel love.
Happy Mother’s Day.
I’m a firm believer you don’t have to be called mom to be a mother and nurturer.
We all have divine feminine energy swirling within us. Honor it this weekend, nurture yourself, nurture the ones you love, and see how many fantasies you can pull into the light.
If your mom is no longer Earth side, know that she is only a thought away in all of her divinity loving you full out.
Here’s to showing up as our true selves and letting our mothers do the same.
Lots of love,