Seems like lately at our house family dinners are more often me eating over the stove while my husband or kids tell me about their day. Dillon rides through the kitchen on his green scooter, the girls come in and out. Time is so full.
We still manage to sit down together maybe two or three times a week. Someone always has some thing.
Gone are the weekday afternoons that consisted of playtime at the park, an early dinner, baths and pjs before the sun sets. Now we are dividing and conquering (though conquering hardly seems like the right word to use.) All the after school things, work, and maybe dinner in there somewhere.
This is what life is – fluid. It never stays the same. Though it may always come as a surprise how it changes in ways we didn’t seem coming.
For many of us we are attempting to create a life we wished we had growing up.
Maybe we are deciding to be more emotionally available in our relationships. Or maybe we are deciding to be the parent that talks about sex. Or maybe we are deciding to be the one who accepts more and judges less. Or maybe we have decided there’s more to life than going to work for the sake of a paycheck, and instead have decided to answer a calling that feels bigger that who we are.
This is what we are good at – evolving.
Chains of experience are broken every time a new track from a new thought is laid. Every time you make a new choice in the direction of something more present, more loving and more aware, a chain in the link is broken and a new paradigm is set free. Even if it doesn’t look like you think it should, a better version of your life is emerging.
This is how powerful you and your choices are, and the ability you have to rewrite an expansive future from a limiting past.
And what I know for sure is, you are the chosen one to break the chains of your past experience, and most likely your familial chains. The chains that have repeated themselves in your family are being broken by you. This is big work.
You my wonder how I know you are the chosen one in your family to lay new tracks and break through old chains of limiting beliefs. I know because you are reading this.
This is what we do – we join in with others walking on the same path. We share the road and share our light. This is what we signed up for. This is why we are here.
So while it may not seem in your day to day life that you are making a difference, I want to tell you that you are.
Every time you make a new choice to speak up and have a hard conversation when you’d rather just keep quiet, you break a link in the chain. Every time you decide to forgive and let go, you make a difference. Every time you are nice to you when you’re so used to pushing yourself past where you know you should go, you break a link in the chain. Every time you accept all of you exactly as you are, you break a chain that connects you to the past.
This is how it’s done. This is how a new reality is created. In the moments when we decide to break out of the programming we’ve been given. This is where we set the past free and create a new future.
There is enough money, food and education for everyone on the planet to be well taken care of, yet this is not our truth. We aren’t there yet.
So know that in those moments when you decide to break the chains of dismissing how you really feel and instead choose to face it – you weaken the link that connects us all to the past. By weakening the links, we can allow a new future to unfold.
Know that when you decide to take a leap and let your heart guide you – you are weakening the link. In those moments when you offer forgiveness to someone who has hurt you and choose instead to see them with compassion – you break a link that connects you to the past. Every moment you recognize your divine nature and express yourself as such, you bust through the chains. Every moment you witness your darkness and bring it to the light, you break a link.
Every decision you make matters.
You are divinely made. And you were sent here with an important mission. Know this. And know that even if your life doesn’t currently look like what you were told it is supposed to look like, know that it is good anyway You have made valuable progress.
There is no prescription for what joy looks like. We are too different for it to look the same. Many of us are forcing a certain life into place thinking that by getting there we will feel better and can finally rest. This is a myth from a long wall of chains we’ve been climbing for years. It’s time to come down.
While my mind ins’t thrilled that I’m picking through grilled vegetables while hanging out over the stove (though they are so good), my heart is. My mind would much rather us all be sitting around the kitchen table peacefully sharing a meal. My heart knows tonight, this isn’t going to happen.
Instead, Dillon’s happy and content riding his scooter in circles around the kitchen. Dan’s filling me in on his whirlwind 24 hours of gigs, and the girls, as they pass through from their after school activities are happy to be back at home. There is a baseline feeling, and even through what seems like disorder, that feeling is love. This is what love looks like for us, for now. I’m sure it will change soon. But for now, this is it.
What joy feels like may not be what it is supposed to look like.
My challenge to you this week is to look at the links in your life that want to be broken. The pieces that tell you how things should be but feel out of place. The parts that are causing you to force something for the sake of “how it’s always been.”
These are your roadblocks – invitations from your future self asking you to evolve. These are links ready to be broken with a new belief. Let them break. Let yourself evolve. Lean in with your heart and how things feel instead.
So while my picture perfect ideal of my family gathering around a nicely set table to break bread together every night isn’t happening now, that doesn’t mean I can’t be present and give them my full-heart attention. It may not look how I want it to, but it feels good when I don’t allow my mind to compare it to what I think it should be. And this is enough. Chains are being broken. A new world is being created. I can tell because my heart says so.
Tonight everyone will be home at the same time and we will share a meal together. Someone may have a surprise project due the next day that needs a store run after dinner, Dillon may refuse to get dressed before sitting down to eat, the girls may argue over a pair of jeans, but we will be together and that’s enough. These are the days where love looks like this.
Thank you for staying on the path that isn’t always glamorous, but is always fulfilling. You’re doing a beautiful job. Your are a source of light for the world. Know this. Even on the days when you feel different and go against the mainstream current. Perhaps especially on those days.
Keep shining your light,