Want to check in with you – how are you doing in this thing? Are you loving you?
Mother Teresa said it best when she said: “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family.”
Seems we’ve all been forced into going home and loving our families.
Regardless of what the word family means to you – if it’s the group of people you were born into, or the people you gave birth to, or your best friend, your Starbucks barista, your dog, or a collection of pet rocks, the first person in your family is you.
You are numero uno. The big dog. The number one. Your family starts with YOU.
This is why it is so inextricably important to first love you. You have got to be your own VIP. Now more than ever.
How you decide to love you determines the capacity in which you love everyone and everything else outside of you.
Self-Love Is Never Selfish
I spent years “looking for love in all the wrong places…” Traumatic family bonds led to low self-esteem and a warped view of what love is. I had the belief love was out there somewhere. So I searched, and searched and searched and never found that unconditional, non-judgemental, fully accepting love I truly wanted, yet somehow knew existed.
As life would have it, hitting rock bottom was actually the beginning of remembering how to love me.
And I think this is true for us humans. When we go searching for something we already have, we have to hit a wall and have no where else to go to wake up and notice it.
In this topsy turvy reality, we can decide to turn up the love. No spiritual gymnastics are needed – just plain, simple, ever-lasting love that quiets the mind and soothes the soul.
As simple as love is, self-love is a badass that says you are worthy of love even with all of your quirks and shortcomings. Self-love soothes your nervous system and brings you back to your own presence.
No matter what your past looks like, self-love can’t wait to pull you out and blanket you with acceptance. True self-love is unconditional, meaning there are no strings attached. It doesn’t matter who you parents are, what college you attended, if you even went to college – none of the worldly accolades matter. Love is never pre-occupied with your job or your money or lack there-of. There is nothing you have to do to earn love. You only have to recognize you are already in it.
Self-love is how lovingly you treat you.
It’s being with yourself. It’s creating space for you to rest and be with you. It’s loving your own heart and not asking “why” but instead “what do I need?”
Self-love is reframing those mean, nasty thoughts that you think of yourself sometimes and not letting them have the final say. It’s ditching the expectations of others if they don’t feel right to you. Self-love is the recognition of self-sabotage and choosing again – without judgement. It’s letting yourself feel the way you need to feel in this moment and loving what is as it arises.
Self-love is not messing around. It is an unwavering, deeply devoted connection to your heart. It’s playful and fun and easy. It’s an inner-knowing that can’t be rocked.
In a time when we need love more than ever, it’s so valuably important to turn the love inward.
- You’ve got trillions of cells in your body listening to every word you say.
- You’ve got an energetic force field around you draping you with the energy of your own thoughts.
- You’ve got a heart that opens or closes based on how you decide to feel.
Self-love is owning the dominion you have over your life. This is where the real love starts. This is the supply from which all other love can flow.
This isn’t a commitment to narcism, in fact, it’s quiet the opposite. When you truly, deeply, unconditionally love you, your love can’t help but spill out onto the rest of us.
Quarantine or not, when you love you, you love the world. You inhabit the space of love. So it’s nothing to search for or find – it’s just waiting there, patiently, waiting to be uncovered, felt and known.
Self-love isn’t glamorous. It’s those moments when you don’t guilt-trip yourself over your kids. That time when you let the kids get their own breakfast so you can write in your journal. Those moments when you resist the urge to scroll social media and instead do something creative. Self-love starts and lives inside you. And when you’ve tapped into it, it naturally flows outside of you.
As we continue on this journey of staying home, may it become a new commitment to going in and allowing the well of self-love to be nurtured. From this space a new world can be created.
How you can you serve your connection to self-love?
It’s so important to have a space for you to rest in, uninterrupted. A self-love sanctuary where you can go and be. It can be a corner in your bedroom, or in your closest. Where it is doesn’t matter – the use of it is what matters.
No one can tell you how best to love you. This is your relationship with you, so only you know.
In a world where we are taught to give of ourselves before giving to ourselves, this pause in time may be what we need to reevaluate how we love ourselves.
After all, we heal the world by first healing ourselves.
I think about you all during this time and want you to know how loved you are.
You are a valuable person during this time of ascension. Thank you for agreeing to be here at this time. Thank you for bringing your light to a world that’s so ready to change. Love yourself the way you deserve to be loved.
Lots of love,